SUBTLETIES OF COMMUNICATION AND HIDDEN MESSAGES
Sometimes people misunderstood my
intention or let me say what observer sees in my body language are totally
different from my thinking. For instance someone ask, “What is wrong? Are you
angry? Many a times my response is no, but that was what they pensive with my
body language. This happen mostly when I looked door. Observers see confusion
in my facial look. Seriously, whenever I am confused it can be easily noticed
because I will be short of words. Nonverbal communications are what give first
impression about self before verbal. Nonverbal language: as facial expressions,
gesture and postures, and with special relationships. McKay et al. (2009, P.800).
Sometimes the context is difficult
for others to ascertain. I may be soliloquizing about how tedious the week workload
is affecting my class work, but colleagues asking, “Oye are you Okay? Is anything
wrong with your family?”
I am beginning to see how cultural
differences affect both verbal and nonverbal languages. Many gesture are
restricted to a specific peer group, others are typical of a particular region
or culture, and some body movements are universal McKay et al. (2009, P. 834).
USN has a pool of nation’s
diversity culture; hardly would you see a tribe or nations that are not
represented. In less than three years of my service in three commands and one
Ship, I’ve worked with people from many nations including many from different
American states. Working together as family, relates as one force. Body language
means different things to us and even some verbal languages.
For instances, when we are
discussing and someone asked me “Oye! are you mad? ‘Mad’ in Africa means
“Crazy” but in America
they interchange it with “Angry” Even if I was not angry before, that question
got me angry. Here you will see that even the use of language differ with
different culture.
Recently, I observed in one round
table meeting with my Commanding Officer (CO), and my division, that I was the
only the one leaning forward all others seated relaxed though still responding
to the conversation as I did. I felt embarrassed as if I was hearing impaired
for leaning forward then I adjusted my posture, but few seconds latter I was
leaning forward again, on and on like that. With this study I come to
understand what was going on then; erect posture is generally associated with
higher spirits, greater confidence, and more openness and interest McKay et al.
(2009, P. 883).
In Nigeria where I grew up, there is
what we call ‘official language’. Irrespective of your age, who ever is your
box has to be respected with your tone of voice, the way you relate and address
them. That has been part of me, but in Navy it is different, I was used to
addressing my Chief as well as officers and my entire superior as ‘Sir’ but
corrected several times that “sir” is only for officers. In Africa, even your
Teacher in schools, Pastor in church and anybody superior to you in whatever
capacity are addressed as ‘sir’ or ‘Ma’ as a means of salutation. Paralanguage
is the vocal component of speech, considered apart from the verbal content. It
includes pitch, resonance, articulation, tempo, volume, and rhythm McKay et al.
(2009, P. 958). When addressing people officially, it has to be more different
from when off work.
Finally, one more thing I have to
work on is to always have it at the back of my mind the purpose of agendas at
every communication. Listeners sometimes misconstrue me for “I know it all”
have in mind that; the agenda serve to build up and preserve an existential
position, a basic stance in the world, also promote ulterior motives and needs.
I will try and put in practice the four corrective suggestions; to let my
audience know about my agenda, keep track of the agenda, reward myself with
something nice when I block an impulse to use the old agenda and rehearse a new
position, not to be stuck on one agenda.
Hope this will make me a better
orator.
Reference:
Matthew .M, Martha.D, and Patric .F
(2009). MESSAGES The Communication Skills Book Third edition,
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