Personal Leadership: Mentoring and Coaching II

Olusanya Oyeyemi

Walden University

MMSL 6660

Dr. Gina Smith

22 October 2015

Abstract

In these last weeks of this course it was made clear that inference or observation may differ from reality even though it contribute. Hunt and Weintraub inferred that, “knowing something about your personality allows you to understand an important source of diversity in the world, the diversity of personal styles (p. 159). Adding that we should keep in mind that even observation can be limited by inference and even a specific example represents a snapshot not a video (P.160).

Mentoring Minority

Mentoring Challenges

Thomas inferred that “mentors must play the role of coach and counsellor” (2001), but to do this one must be able to avoid or outsmart all the obstacles associated with mentoring. My plan to address the five obstacles analysed by Thomas are: 1, to avoid negative stereotype, give my mentee the ‘benefit of doubt’, invest my time in coaching my protégé what they need to succeed. 2, Identify with my mentee throughout their developmental stages, share my experience of when I was at their level and suggest reasonable solutions. 3, Do away with any form of sceptical attitude that may not allow consistency in diversifying relationship across race. 4, Encourage and continue to preach cross-race relationship even if it is not part of the organization’s historical set-up. And 5, discourage all forms of peer resentments by mentee that are jealous of their colleagues who enjoy mutual relationship of mentor to protégée. I would use peer relationship to coach my fellow mentor the proper relationship that should exist between mentor and their protégée and ensue heterogeneous networking.

In my preparation to work with both group and individual, I will first see myself as a man of all people irrespective of their background, race, colour and/or language. Make sure that assigning job or promoting people are not racist but diverse in nature according to the performance and organizational standard. I would encourage training and workshop for leaders to address racial issues, make obvious my support for minority, and help my colleagues who have a hard time accommodating people of different background.

One Yoruba adage interprets that, the more closely to a person; the more understanding of that person’s character we will be. To avoid prejudgement, I would encourage a better relationship that will give me a clear picture of individual character rather than stereotypical assumptions.

Honestly, I am always sceptical in dealing with people from other background most especially when I am the protégée. It is always hard for me to know their expectation or a have a clearer understanding of their mission. But as a mentor, I think I have acquired a better understanding of how to build a better atmosphere for smooth and heterogeneous relationship with protégée.

Inferring Mood from Observation

After making my observation sheet and analyse both the snapshot and my inference I realized that my observations are not always hundred par cent right and for the fact that my perception of someone was accurate in the past is not an assurance that it will always be. The lesson learned is that next time, I will not allow my expectations of others to dominate my perception. When what I am expecting to see is different from what is happening, now I have a better understanding and well prepared. This tool gives me a better insight of myself; Hunt and Weintraub inferred that, “knowing something about your personality allows you to understand an important source of diversity in the world, the diversity of personal styles (p. 159).

My role as coach influences my observation process in that my data has to be well evaluated to be a good leader. Even though I cannot observe someone without having my own judgement of the event, yet as a leader I have to make sure I am not imposing my inference on my coachee. It is difficult to focus solely on data without given it personal interpretation. The best way to defeat my inference is by devoting my attention to a particular aspect as a coach, concentrating on questions that will help both of us (coach and coachee) to get to the root of the matter, not just judging from my own perception. “Keeping in mind that even observation can be limited by inference and even a specific example represents a snapshot not a video” (Hunt and Weintraub P.160).

The value of my observation as a leader is to follow-up my mentee both formally and informally and give valuable coaching with feedback as needed at all times. Making sure that my mentee knows what they are doing and they are accountable for all their actions. Processing my observation data to have correct impression and able to coach my coachee aright is a good tool for me as a leader and is something that will be useful for my career even right from my immediate family on how I should observe my wife and children. Taking into consideration how to differentiate from interpretation, meaning that I understand my ladder of inference as suggested by Hunt and Weintraub (P.160).

Utilizing the Confrontation Model and Feedback

I had a communication problem with my first chief in Navy, each time he found anything not right with our equipment he usually blamed me for it in public for not reporting to him when I saw it or not fixing it. Meanwhile, in most cases I was not aware of such incident and not the only person to report such cases. Initially, I taught it was because I was the most junior sailor in the division but when we had another junior sailor he did not change. In many occasion, he apologized for the embarrassment in private after he had disgraced me in public.

 Later I realized that he did all those things because I had a common background with the officer I met in the division. We both came from the same country and he mentored me both officially and personally which they saw as fraternization though there was nothing to prove it. They changed all our meeting points to reduce our contact but he still remained the division officer until he was transferred and the chief reciprocated by diverting all our division error to be my fault in a public confrontation and usually apologized in private.

Gradually, he kills my moral each time he confronted me in public, blaming me alone for what the whole division responsibility. My expectation was that he would help me to grow in the practical skill I needed to do my job confidently. Irrespective of our age differences (even though I was a little older) I still gave him all his due respect and submissive to his order and corrections.

Relevant background information;

·      The issue started around seven months in both the division and the command, immediately our division officer was transferred to another command.

·      Number one course of his action was that I was awarded for my performance and sent for additional training by the officer before he left.

·      Even though he congratulated me when I was awarded the best engineering sailor (Snipe) of the quarter and confirmed that I worth it, I could read from his following actions that he didn’t meant it.

·      I taught he felt marginalized by the officer.

·      He likes to be praise for every achievement of the division in public and never takes responsibility of any error, but love to praise me in private.

All other chiefs that saw my charismatic effort at work and sited me as a good reference to their team and our officer that raised it up and recommended me for award are the key player to my chief’s hatred.

The force at work was racist, at present things began to change when we had new chief.  My expectation from him as a good leader was to receive constructive feedback, coaching or mentoring from him, that will result in training to improve my performance not the one that was meant to criticize me in public. In addition, I expect we work together as a team and appreciate the effort of all contributors.

Opening Statement

The simple name of the communication problem was Racist.

Even when we have the right insight and a positive point to share, public criticism is not the best confrontational approach. When we have to speak for the organization, we can still present it in a way that will “encourage the maximum degree of openness, which is essential to learning” (Hunt and Weintraub). For instance, when a new officer resumed after the transfer of the officer that replaced the one we shared similar background, the new female officer wanted our weekly training to be effective. Before, as the coordinator when ever I made everything set for the training, my chief always had one excuse either one equipment we had to work on or just saying the work we did yesterday was enough to be our training and everybody will sign and go. After series of occasion like that, everybody was used to just sign for the undone training. But when the new officer raised the issue and said she wants the training conducted in her presence, my chief was pointing accusing finger on me as the coordinator, as if I was not doing my job and later met me behind to apologize that he did not mean to embarrass me.

My emotion about the issue was that each time he rebooked me in public, my personality was been threaten and his coaching made no impact on me. I always interpreted his action to be racist and the kind of honour, respect, and trust I had for him initially began to dwindle to the extent that I looked for all means to avoid him before he was transferred.

My zealousness at work was at stake because the way I was committed before had decelerated. Initially, I was so committed that both friends and senior colleagues from both within and outside my division cautioned me that the environment does not deserve such commitment but I ignored their advises. I latter concurred that they were right. My contribution to the problem was that when I first joined the team I concentrated on what I taught I knew very well and left those areas that I did not know well which he used against me latter. I intended to resolve the issue by trying to make known my own version of the story but due to their position and military order, nobody was listened to me before we were separated through military transfer.

Expanding my coaching Skills

At the time of this exercise, I am in-between job which makes it difficult to perform the self-observation step by step as illustrated in our text, I just leave active navy to pursue officer’s program in navy reserve. In my recent past job as an enlisted in navy, I do not hold any leadership or coaching position and it has been like that for the past ten years of working experience, each time I am close to leadership position I usually transit to different organization or skill. Now that I am preparing for officer’s program, I hope it will earn me a leadership role in future either in paying job or in my personal business. To the topic, my observation are attached to my previous experience at my most recent job in navy as enlisted who held no leading or coaching position;

My life is not balance today because I am in-between job, leaving active navy to pursue officer’s program in navy reserve. I am taking care of myself by looking for means to sustain myself and support my family now that active paying has stop and yet to commence my officer’s program.

My attention is all about how to sell my house in Florida and get accommodation in California either to rent or buy. My breakdown is my inability to rent a house, to resolve the issue, and I need a job.

What I learn about myself this week is that I may not be right always. For this week, I am yet to accomplish anything and I have a day and half left at the time of this observation. I do not have any area that I become more competent or learn by doing this week. What energized me most at work was that I usually consoled myself of making progress but got discouraged each time something triggered my memory to remember that I was not employed in navy as a degree older. Even though I did my job to the best of my knowledge as enlisted yet, when officers exercises their authority on me I felt humiliated because I supposed to be their mentor. The action I am taking from that observation is the step of going for officer’s program.

I feel uncomfortable telling my superior what they need to improve on to become a better leader because of our differences in rank and they have no or little leadership training. I experienced fear whenever my observation led to an argument and I withdrew so that they wouldn’t see me as a rebellious because of I am older. My action was to give it time for them to realize who is mistaken.

The specific observation outcome I produce is that I need more patient in my coaching or mentoring ambition to dispense it only when requested. My excuse is that, at times I was passionate about how people around me are doing things, most especially when they are doing it wrong and I thought I had a better suggestion. It is very difficult for me to watch people fail before I step in. The personal limitation that got in the way of my observation is my rank. I feel that my skill is under utilized and that is why I am taking the step of leaving active duty to join reserve where my age is not a barrier to become an officer.

I challenge all those that are not happy about their current position and their skills are under utilize to take necessary steps of faith and use every opportunities that come their way to make a change. Flaherty inferred that, “some of us have concluded that it is not possible to contribute as we want to in business” he added that it is by continually asking that question “How can I contribute?” that will unfold our ability as either coach or mentor (P.181). This is the reason for my challenge and because we are happy whenever we are in the right position in our carrier ladder or above our colleague. An African proverb said happy is he that have his brothers as friend. The reason is that when we are too far from where we suppose to be, thought, ideas, and our observations are not relevant, even when it is useful the young one sees it as domineering and they object.  

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